Friday, June 19, 2015


You can earn unlimited money.
You know, theoretically.
If you sell, sell, sell
This thing that we make.

You have signed up
because you know you are greedy
And we know it too.
Yes, yes, aiming for a better life -
Whatever makes you feel better.

We can give you instances of how
That guy got rich. Humble background
Little education. But he worked hard.
And worked customers. And dealers.
And now look where he is.

What do we make?
We make everything that makes human lives better.
Fertilizers. Medicines. Guns. Carbonated drinks.
Computers too. All excellent quality stuff, we assure you.
It makes life worth living.

But, here's the rub: It just doesn't sell enough without you-
young, keen to prove yourself, untiring.
And here's the bigger rub: You will need to prove that you are young
as you keep getting older.
Untiring, as you keep getting tired.

You have kids? Excellent! Do it for them!
Sell our goods. They need to be ready.
Have you seen the competition outside?
You can never be prepared enough.

Just out of college?
Here’s the best opportunity to prove your mettle, young man!
This job will change your life –a stable job and lots of money
Which girl’s father can resist that?

It’s an exciting life!
Conference calls will happen
Where your Regional Manager will rip you apart
And everyone else on the call.
And you’ll accept it as part of the job.

Every SKU that you sell
Will have a free gift inside –
Shards of your self-esteem
Remnants of con-calls.

But you will toughen up.
The system will recreate your ego and self esteem.
And you will feel a glow of pride when you tell others
How you are the best salesman in the Upper-North-Central territory
And how your Regional Manager
Once congratulated you
On selling a few more pieces than others.

We need dynamism, we need verve
We create clear paths, like an exceedingly simple snakes-and-ladders game
Because even you should understand it.
Manage your distributor, manage your credit period.

Glory awaits!
Oversell fertilizers, get your trip to Thailand
(Just the place for a hot-blooded young man like you! I’ll tell you where to go, too!)
Don’t worry about the runoff into the water table
Our Liaison Officer in the Capital will handle it

Sell carbonated drinks
Make the most of this summer
Water table? Again?
Can’t you think of anything else?
Think of your numbers, young man!
And the infinite money you can theoretically make...